(no subject)

[apiphile]

memory is rewritten, not recalled

i would like to rewind
and remind the lonely child
on the steps of countless buildings
in a thousand cold carparks
that he contains the kernal
of everything he will become
and thus ingest that knowledge
as a wholesome meal
to carry me through
to my own adulthood

but the carparks of the past
are not the place for imparting wisdom
and what he needed in him
i still cannot give
the adolescent on the gurney
dripping saline into soft tissues
cannot be reasoned with
i still have no solid reason
to offer him to live

i know my own reflection
well enough to recall
that i would never have listened
and besides those shadows
don't feel like the same person
at all.