(no subject)

[apiphile]

lakeview drive

afterward
they talked as if it was despair
who had pressed the pedal itself
despair's knock-off nike had pressed the accelerator down
and did despair lock the car doors?
no one asked that;
afterward they said it was social failure
that it was on us all
and she simply had no more hope,
couldn't cope; our foot on the pedal
us pushing the car into the lake,
but no one asked if we locked the car doors
if we put you in there with her;
they said it was too hard for her
to do it alone, but she managed
alone, to buckle you in,
to lock the doors,
to put her foot on the pedal, and no one asked;
did she hold you as the water crept up,
did she stop your struggles with her hands
that had no hope, that couldn't cope,
that wouldn't hand you over to anyone else;
because she loved you, didn't she
she loved you too much to let go;
self-evident, you know: no need to ask
if you screamed when the water reached your chin
if love locked the doors on the Ford Cortina;
no need to ask
whether it was hard,
too,
to be her daughter.

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

Oh, very powerful and dark!

[kat_lair]

oof. this is like a kick to the chest.

[apiphile]

Reading the news a lot you get used to certain framings, and sometimes those framings collide with your experiences or those of your friends, constantly being told to consider how hard it is your parents to "have to deal with a child like you".